|
sign-up for the
cluckbucket newsletter
advertise on the
cluckbucket
|
2003
Soulard Mardi Gras Cluckoff
Well,
the first ever Soulard (St. Louis) Mardi Gras Wing Eating Contest (Cluckoff)
is in the books. Here's the write-up and pictures:
Click
here to see the pictures
The 1st
Annual Soulard Mardi Gras Chicken Wing Eating Contest (i.e. Cluckoff) took
place on Tuesday, March 25 at Hammerstone’s in Soulard.
Thirteen brave souls plunked down the $10 entry fee to see who
could eat the most ounces (or pounds) of chicken in ten minutes.
Originally scheduled to begin at
7pm
, there was a brief delay in the cooking of the wings, as well as a wait
for two contestants who ended up being no-shows.
With names like Ryan “Cooter” Moschany, Brent “Shaker”
Baker and Andrew “The Terminator” Hake, the field appeared to be
colorful, if not disgusting.
At
approximately
7:25 pm CST
, the final plate of wings was brought out to “Fat”
Tony Frierdich
and allowed a few minutes to cool down (not that it ended up being
necessary). The rules were
simple. Everyone started with
five pounds of wings (a mix of drummies and wings, no nubs – naked and
in a medium hot sauce). After
ten minutes, the bones and the uneaten wings would be measured to
determine who, in fact, would earn the title of most disgusting human in
the greater
St. Louis
area.
Ten minutes later, there was some serious carnage.
For myself (Cluckilla), the first five minutes went fairly
smoothly, not even needing to drink any water.
The last five minutes were a bit more of a chore, having to stop
twice for about twenty seconds each to keep from regurgitating (which I
presumed would’ve eliminated me from contention – more on that in a
second). To my right was
“Fat” Tony, who, after approximately one minute, had basically quit
speed eating was merely enjoying some chicken (by the way Gome, you are a
homo). To my left was a pretty
good-sized guy, who, curiously enough, had both a six inch fresh scar on
his head, as well as IV tubing sticking out of his arm (I’m serious).
He also seemed to be taking his time, though he was cleaning off
his bones pretty well.
The only good thing about Tony wimping out was that he was able to
provide excellent commentary on the contestants.
He proved an especially useful tool (much like Underhill himself)
in making sure I didn’t miss Ben “The Boston Strangler” Immonen’s
regurgitation (i.e. puking), just over halfway through.
Undeterred, the remaining contestants pushed on and finished the
competition. A quick
eyeballing of the competition showed that yours truly had eaten the most
wings, but not necessarily cleaned them off as well as others who had
eaten their fair share – especially Chris “Little Pappa” Belk and
Ryan “Cooter” Moschany.
The weigh-in process was a fairly simple one – adding up the
weight (in ounces) of the bones with the uneaten wings, and subtracting
that number from 80 (five pounds). The
result proved to be a bit of a shocker.
-
Kevin
“Brain Surgery” Belk
-
Chris
“Little Pappa” Belk
-
Ben “The
Boston Strangler” Immonen, also known as “The Regurgitator”
-
Ryan
“Cooter” Moschany
-
Steve
“Cluckilla” Roth
-
Brent
“Shaker” Baker
-
Brian
“Egg Beater” Eggemeyer
-
Andrew
“Terminator” Hake
-
Marty
“Toolman” Johnson
-
Tony
“Worthless” Frierdich
-
Cory
“Red Barron” Cullen
Yes, a few things should jump out at you from this list.
The guy that had brain surgery two weeks ago, and still has IV
hook-up, won the competition. Not
sure if it was a sympathy vote or not – he did clean his wings off very
well, but ate nowhere near as many as a few others.
Nevertheless, he’s the champ.
Secondly, the guy who puked finished third.
At any sanctioned IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive
Eating) event, regurgitation is grounds for disqualification.
This is apparently not the case in Soulard, to the dismay of the
75+ in attendance. However,
Ben, realizing that he really didn’t deserve third, did give his prize
up to the next finisher, “Cooter” Moschany.
Yours truly finished a respectable fifth (really fourth, and maybe
third) – I did count the number of wings I ate – 52 ½.
And yes, you probably also noted that our recently named
Cluckbuckie of the Year,
Tony Frierdich
, finished in second-to-last. I
really have nothing more to say about him.
All in all, it was an excellent competition that can only get better
with time (and the appearance of Eric “
Badlands
” Booker). Big thanks to
newfound friend o’ the Cluckbucket, Denny Hammerstone, for organizing
and running the event. And
future thanks to Scott “Junior Cluckilla” Roth, for taking my place at
all future competitions, as I am officially retired.
Peace, Love, and
(last Tuesday) a whole lotta Grease,
Vanilla
Click
here to see the pictures
|
2006
Wing Joint of the Year Contest
Cluckbucket Recommends:
|
